who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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