i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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