Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
