I will die if light touches me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
