You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
