At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
