I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
