You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
