butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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