we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
