I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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