yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
