I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
