you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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