Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
foreskin is a definite game changer
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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