Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
