we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize