I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
