I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
