Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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