and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize