Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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