Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ttyl tear gas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
