I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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