I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
