Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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