Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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