today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize