He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize