help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
