The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
