No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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