i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
