Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
