oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
