I'm really into asian looking animals
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
