So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
