Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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