I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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