Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize