smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
