I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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