I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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