five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
