I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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