I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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