After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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