ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
