im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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