I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
