But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
