She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Enjoy the penises
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
