This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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