the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
