He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
