doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
