I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
