no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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