Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
