the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
