I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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