where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
