If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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