You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think my moral compass just broke
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
