'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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