I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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