is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
