My cat gives me a boner
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
